Daddy needs some Prada

Did you ever notice how some people have hang-ups about certain things and they avoid acknowledging or discussing them under any circumstances regardless of how undeniable their existence may be. I'm happy that my boyfriend and I really have no hang-ups similar to this. Granted, relationships don't start out that way, it takes a while to grow to that level of comfort. And sometimes people in relationships never reach that level of comfort with each other. What I am referring to are completely natural bodily functions. Thankfully, my boyfriend and I have both grown to be pretty comfortable with each other when it comes to things like burping, farting, shitting or the need to jerk off. Just a few of the many things which are necessities and realities of the day to day lives of 2 masculine, muscular semi-hairy men.

Because these things are all unavoidable realities I think you have to be willing to accept them. I think the willingness to accept the existence of these things in your partner can only strengthen your relationship.

Take for example when we saw Brokeback Mountain. One of the first thoughts I had was, gee, these 2 guys are living on a diet of baked beans, there is not a bathroom or shower in sight and they are having anal sex. Although the director chose not to illustrate the realities of his characters in this situation, I had a pretty clear understanding of what those realities were.

Everybody poops, so obviously poop is a fact of life and I find little point in not just accepting this and dealing with it. When I see my boyfriend heading down the hall with a rolled up periodical under his arm, I pretty much know what is about to take place. In order to further embrace and accept this reality my boyfriend and I often have frank discussions about the nature of our poop with regard to things such as volume, texture, its consistency and the ease (or difficulty) of clean-up afterwards.

These are valid and legitimate points of discussion because sometimes the situation requires a shower afterward. Often, in the worst cases, a shower with Prada shower gel may be the only way to go. It is important to be comfortable with having this type of open dialogue because you never know when your experience in dealing with such issues can help another person when they have a problem to solve, be it a personal hygiene problem or whatever.

We love talking with each other about things of this nature, things which many people guard with a certain level of privacy. It is just another facet to the vast complexity and serious nature of a relationship between two masculine, athletic men. Being that comfortable and familiar with each other is hot.

My boyfriend and I are both pretty obsessed with cleanliness and you would be amazed at how often we end up cleaning our bathrooms. Men, in general really seem to create a situation where the bathroom needs to be cleaned quite often and this is true for us as well. I can't imagine that just because you are gay you are exempt from the same facts of life that straight men experience. I would imagine bi-sexual and trans-gendered men as well as some lesbians probably have the same issues to deal with. The fact remains that even though there are only 2 of us living here and our house has multiple bathrooms they always seem to need cleaning. It makes me wonder what it must have been like in other situations.

Take for example The Waltons. This is a family of 11 people, 6 of them were men, and they all lived in that house with only the one bathroom. I imagine that the reason grandma was always such a bitch was because it was probably her job to clean that bathroom. If this was the case, I'm really surprised she didn't have her stroke after the first season. I just can't even begin to imagine the horrors that awaited her in there after Mexican food night on Walton's Mountain.

When it comes to sex my boyfriend and I can really get into being verbal. Even though it gets pretty intense sometimes even in the heat of the moment we both try to remain conscious of what we are saying. This is important because although it's hot to say and hear things like "oh yea fuck me" or "fuck that ass" or "take my big fuckin' cock" or even "Yea, smack daddies ass while he's fuckin' you" other things might not be so hot.

Sometimes in porno, men are fucking and one of them says something like "Oh shit" or "shit yeah" and this just makes me laugh. I certainly don't want to speak for anyone but myself but I would think that if you're involved in an activity where hard dicks are penetrating tight asses, especially if the hard dicks and tight asses are attached to bodies of individuals who just met, the topic of shit isn't one that should be broached. So, you know, we stay away from saying things like "I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you".

The necessity of having to go to the bathroom is just as much a part of being a man as is the need to shoot your load. From adolescence on, slamming the ham becomes an integral part of being a male and we can do it pretty much anytime and anyplace. Although for gay men, beating the bishop becomes an important part of your sexual repertoire there are many times we end up choking the chicken just out of necessity. My boyfriend, referring to his semen, sometimes says "It's like poison man, you gotta get it out". So if either of us need to jerk off it's no big deal and we keep an ample supply of lube and porno on hand to ensure that ejaculation comes about as quick and seamless as we desire. A number of times I've walked in the bedroom and there is porno on the TV and my boyfriend is rubbing one off. Seeing this can be quite arousing for me and since the porno is in and the lube is already out I may join in. Other times I may just go about my business as he goes about his. I really don't view it any differently than if he was brushing his teeth or shaving other than the fact that there is hard cock and shaved balls and pubic hair and muscles and grunting and porno and pre-cum and.... I gotta go.